Laurie Duperier's Camino diary: "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
I have long believed that if the Camino had a theme song it would be The Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”. And as anyone born before 2000 knows, the next line is “but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need.” Every single walk I have felt that I got what I needed, although sometimes it took a while to figure it out.
I always come to the Camino with an open mind and open heart, ready to receive what Santiago and the Camino have in store for me. (Yes, I actually think the Camino knows I am coming before I get here.) But I will confess that this time I came with expectations and specific hopes: I was really looking for joy. And trying to run an agenda on the Camino, I know from past experience, is the kiss of death for your agenda. Ummm, I guess I forgot? I thought I could get away with it?
So far, what the Camino has provided is illness. Lots of it. I got sick and kept getting sicker. In 21 years nothing like this has ever happened, but there is a first time for everything.
I walked most of the route the last couple of days figuring if nothing else I would just sweat out my illness. That works in old movies. Turns out it doesn’t so much work in real life. I kept pushing my body in a way that ignored what it could and should do under the circumstances. Didn’t want to miss my walk!
So I got sicker. Have you ever had a virus travel from your throat and sinuses to your EYES? Lordy who even knew that was a thing? Luckily found a good ophthalmologist. But, no walk today. No obvious joy. No beautiful landscape. No delicious food. No companionship of lovely pilgrims. Just me, assorted pharmaceuticals, tissues, and the blinds drawn so the light doesn’t hurt my eyes.
NO ONE should feel bad for me! I don’t feel bad for me (at least not since early this morning). I am getting what I need. It is a lesson. I have a few ideas what this is about but will need to think about it a bit more. I am hoping to be able to walk tomorrow as I really love the views on tomorrow’s stage. But I am not going to push it. I am the number one proponent for NOT suffering and I inflicted a bit of it on myself and was unkind to my body.
I will share happier thoughts tomorrow. In the meantime enjoy these pretty pictures, hum a little Stones tune in your head, and wish me a buen Camino!
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